Mains 2018 result is out, and I am going to check it.
I know I may not be selected most probably, as I was grossly under prepared both mentally as well as syllabus wise.
My heartbeat has become so fast that I can’t even tell.
This is one of the most crucial moments of my life.
Much lessons to be learnt for the life ahead.
Always Remember, It’s OK to lose some battles to win the war.
Here, is the link to the video i made just to capture that dreaded moment, to act as a memoir for my life ahead:
Finally, i’ve checked my results & they were as per my expectation.
Still, when the fact that you could not qualify hits right in your face, you do feel sad. That’s basic human nature, you can’t avoid.
The most important thing, right now, is how you handle this situation & the lessons you draw from it instead of finding silly excuses.
this is just an exam, so just take it like an exam.
it is highly competitive, so it is highly likely that you may not qualify
Sincere efforts are to be made on a continuous basis.
Neither be too happy nor be too sad, at your success or when you don’t succeed
As baba rightly said, its ok to fail sometimes; because if you succeed always, it makes you arrogant. Failure keeps you grounded. Now, i’m back to square one- prelims 2019
Specific drawbacks in preparation:
-couldn’t complete any of the papers due to:
slow writing speed, lack of brevity in expression, lack of well settled content in the mind causing more time in reproducing it from mind to pen to paper
-subject- content/ notes not ready in time especially the optional which is the key to becoming IAS
-lack of mental stability 2 months prior to the exam due to fear of failure esp after clearing prelims
-lack of answer writing practice of GS papers
-lack of innovative approach in presentation(map, flowchart, hub& spoke diagram,etc)
-burning desire missing as i had lowered my confidence level, and simply wanted to somehow finish all the mains paper with no hope of getting selected (it may sound very childish, but i was kind of very low between the pre-mains period & could only sustain because of more than 100% family support )
Just before writing this blog, i saw my previous posts & realized that i had written a similar post just after 2017 mains result, and it felt as if i had time-travelled.
so, today, i am writing this post for my future self 😉
Right now, sitting in global study center, karol bagh, 20 december-2018, 1:58pm, i promise to myself, that next year, when i will be checking my 2019 mains result, there will be just one thing to say- Mummy, interview ke liye suit silwa lo.
Borrowing from Ashish tiwari’s (CSE 2015-AIR 6) speech, Yaar IAS to baad mein banenge, pehle toh is Mains ko nikalenge